Blue Roses
by mackenziewoodward
Summary: Death can be painful, not only for the one who dies but for those who must endure the time after the death.
1. Chapter 1

blue roses : Chapter 1 blue roses Chapter 1

"You don't have to stay, I can take care of myself." My father said, his voice still raspy from crying at the funeral.

I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked at me. "I know- but I am staying, end of discussion. You're my father, I love you, and I want to be there for you." I said with a soft smile, I didn't much like forks but I needed to be with my dad.

He smiled and looked back to the road. "Jacob, Billy's son, will be staying with us for a while, until he can go back to his house. Will you try and make him feel welcome? Please?" There was a smile on his face as he said it.

"Sure. What are you guys going to want for dinner?" Charlie was a great guy, and an even better dad, but a horrid cook!

Then, something that could have made any kid cry happened- a huge, childlike grin flashed across my dad's face. "Will you make fried fish with those homemade French fries, like your mom used to make?'"

"Yeah she taught me, I'll have to go to the store to pick up some stuff, though." I said as we pulled up to the driveway.

I saw a red rabbit VW parked on the empty side of the driveway. As Charlie walked into the house, holding the door open for me as he did, I could hear the sound of the TV on in the living room. I instantly ran upstairs and changed clothes, into my favorite creamy soft blue jeans and a pair of brown boots that were already worn down but gave me an extra two inches- making me all of five feet, two inches tall. I looked at myself in the small mirror I had in my room my Coke t-shirt, red and faded, matched my jeans and I looked pretty cute, or so I thought. I walked down stairs and first thing I saw was Charlie and some native American boy . I hadn't met the stranger yet, but he was so cute! Now have you ever gotten butterflies in your stomach? Well take that and add getting hit in the heart with a bolt of lightning. That was what it felt like, when Jacob's eyes met mine for the first time. He stood and I was frozen where I stood. For a reason I don't really understand, I felt like being very close to him, but I just managed to resist the urge to touch him as my father's voice broke my trance and I continued down the stairs.

"Mackenzie, this is Jacob Black," my dad said raising an eyebrow in my direction.

I stuck out my hand when I was 2 feet from Jacob, "it's nice to meet you. Sorry it had to be under such horrid circumstances," I said as he shook my hand.

His hand felt like it was on fire. "It's nice, to meet you too." Jacob said smiling, his porcelain white teeth glowing.

"Are you ready? Charlie said you needed a lift to the store." Jacob added looking from the floor to my face and back again. I nodded my head and Charlie handed me his coat. It was a standard issue police jacket that had "Swan" printed on the back. I climbed into Jacob's car.

"Wow, this is a nice car." I commented softly to Jacob. I could see he was happy I had said so because he then launched into a story about how he built the car from the ground up and had to save all his money just to get a couple of parts. I nodded at the right times and laughed at others. Being around Jacob was like being around a five year old with a new toy. "So where are you going to go to school at?" Jacob asked as we pulled into Thrift-way, the local supermarket.

I got out of the car and replied, "Forks. I would go to the school in La Push but I'm not from there and my dad wants me to go to FHS." I did a little fist pump sarcastically. Jacob let a booming laugh erupt from him. " So what are we getting?" Jacob asked as we walked in, I took a cart and headed straight for the spices.

"I'm making fried fish, and homemade French fries." I said absentmindedly. For some reason I couldn't get Jacob's smiling face out of my mind. Jacob made a loud lip smacking noise and I laughed. It went on like that as we got other things for dinner. Jake wouldn't let me carry a single bag to the car or into the house.

When we walked in Charlie was de-scaling some fish. A huge pile was already sitting in the sink. "Hey, I'm just finishing up. Jake, do you want to go watch the game while I have a word with Mac?" my dad asked. We both laughed, and Jake went off into the family room.

"What's up, dad?" I asked, ready for anything.

He looked around the corner, "How's Jake doing?" I was thinking he was going to say something else.

"He seems okay, but I mean, we just talked about normal stuff I guess. He didn't bring up Billy, and neither did I." I said as I washed my hands.

He nodded and disappeared back into the family room. I heard more banter and male bonding. My father and I had always been close he hadn't cared that I was gay. He loved me no matter what; he was always worried about me though. I can understand why, but it gets annoying. He is such a caring old man, always worried about _somebody _somewhere. I took out a knife and began chopping the potatoes, and dropped them into the fryer.

Then I opened the beer cans from the garage, and poured them into the batter, Reene's secret. I hated the taste and smell; it looked like pee, smelled like pee, so it was beer. As I pulled the last pieces of fish and the last bunches of fries from the fryer Jacob and Charlie were already making plates.

I laughed, then I grabbed a can of pop, not caring what flavor, and guzzled it down. Within moments, the phone rang. " Hello, Mac Swan here." I said into the phone

"Is Jake there? It's Sam Uley." The voice said in a rushed tone.

"Yeah one sec," I put my hand on the mouthpiece and motioned for Jake to take the phone.

"Hello?" I heard only a muffled response, "Sure. I'm on my way." Jacob headed for the door.

"Yo, Jake. Where are you going?" Charlie asked swallowing his food.

"Just going to go hang with the guys. Thanks for the food Mac, I'll be back by one AM." Jacob said but before he could reach the door Charlie spoke.

"Make it midnight.' There was a commanding tone in his voice. Jacob nodded sullenly, and left.

I sat on my bed waiting for Jacob to get back, it was 11:55pm and I could tell Charlie was going to be mad if Jake broke curfew. I heard the front door open and Jake come in. Charlie said something to him then came up the stairs.

I jumped off my bed and bounded down the stairs, wearing only a huge t-shirt and a pair of my dads old flannel pants. "I just wanted to say goodnight, Jake, and thanks for taking me to the store," I said, as Jake took off his shirt and walked toward me.

"No problem. We should hang out more often." He bent down and planted a kiss on my forehead. I felt like my head was about to burst into flame, but it lost that feeling as Jake pulled away. I must have been going crazy, so I nodded and ran up the stairs without another word.

Next Chapter


	2. Chapter 2

blue roses : Chapter 2 blue roses Chapter 2

_ Sun Rise._ A voice intoned in my ear, I shot up right in bed and shook my head. I looked around the room, no one was there and nothing had shifted in the time I had gone to sleep and in the time i had woke up.  
I went to the window, it looked like it would be a fairly nice day. I smiled, it was time for yoga. I went to my closet and took out my yoga mat and put on a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. I went down the stairs and toward the living room, Jacob was sleeping on the floor. He had a sheet on the lower part of his body and his chest was exposed. He was ripped, he had huge pecs and huge arms.  
I smiled down at the peaceful expression on his face, he looked like a young child. I turned and walked out the door in the laundry room and into the backyard. I layed out my yoga mat and started my song to the sun. _Dog, monkey, kissing earth, dancing child, laughing ghost, _were the positions i did.  
"Your pretty flexable." A voice said from behind me. I was doing dancing child and i had one leg pulled up straight and the other one was holding me up.  
I spun around and fell right on my butt. it was jacob in a pair of sweat shorts and nothing else leaning on the door frame. "Jacob! I'm so going to get you form this one!" I said jumping up and running toward him. he dashed passed me and I turned on my heel and started after him. He was one fast guy, but I had ran track back home and it was pretty easy to catch him. I waited till I was about a foot from him then I pounced.  
I took him to the ground and we rolled around and then finely i was on top. had his hands pinned on the sides of his head. I smiled down on him, he grinned up at me, then like a viper his head shot up and his lips connected with mine. He rolled over top of me his lips still connected to mine. He was varring pressure, hard then soft then hard again. He began to nibble my lip, he was rather good at kissing. My arms found his hair and my fingers wove themselves into his shaggy brown hair.

"Jacob, we have to stop. What if Charlie sees?" I said in between kisses.

"Well, then he sees." Jacob said lowering his body closer to mine.

We were having a make out sesion in my backyard. I started to move my body with jake's and soon we were moving an, I let out a slight moan.

_ You can not let your dad see you making out with his ward!_

You tugged really hard on Jake's hair and he broke away a sad look on his puppy dog face(sorry hehe).

I put my hand on the side of his face, "I'm sorry Jake, but I hardly know you. Why don't we do something together today, we could go down to Port Angeles and hang out on the peir or something." I said smiling .

He smiled that child like smile and nodded his head.

He got off of me and helpped me up. We walked inside exchanging looks as i picked up my mat and went inside. I satrted making breakfast, eggs and bacon and pancakes. Charlie came down and was surprised to see both of us up and so energenic.

"Hey dad, do you mind if Jake and I go down to Port Angeles and go shopping?" I asked as charlie and i sipped some coffe while Jake was in the shower.

Charlie thought for a moment then resonped, "Sure, it'll be good for him to get out of the city. Take me credit card and have the day on me, but don't go too wild okay?"

I smiled and gave Charlie a huge hug which he returned by patting my back.

I walked up the stairs and saw through the nearly opened door Jake's butt. It looked hard as a rock. And as tanned as the rest of his body was. I bit my lip, he turned a little and sw me I quickly made my way into my room.

after both of us had washed up we got into Jake's car and started the drive to Port Angeles. We made it after some time, we parked down by the shopping area and satrted to walk.

"So do you have anyone waiting for you back in Phonex?" Jake asked as we walked passed a small shop.

I shook my head no. I sawsomething in the store and turned and walked back in. There was a bracelet hanging in the window, it was a leather strap with that was about 3 inches wide. There was a small sterling silver wolf in the middle of the bracelet. It called to me almost, I grabbed it and walked over to the register.

"How much is this bracelet?" I asked the women with long silver hair and tan skin. She had a wismical look on her face.

She took the bracelet and looked it over as Jake came in and stood behind me. She looked up and smiled at him, like she knew something about him that I didn't know.

"For you child, only 2.50. This bracelet has a protection enchantment place on it. It can protect you from those of the ice and from those of the fire. You have the gift young one, take this book with you read it try it. It will do you much good." the women said walking in the bakc of the shop and bringing out an old book wrapped in leather.

I smiled at her, I had always believed in magic all forms of it too. "Thank miss, here keep the change." I said giving the women a 20 bill and taking the bracelet and sliding it on my wrist and holding the book close to my chest.

Jake smiled at me and the women thanked me for the extra money.

"Do you believe in magic?" Jacob asked as we walked down the road toward a small resturant with an outdoor cafe.

I smiled and waited to answer till we were seated outside the cafe and we had ordered.

"Yeah, I have always felt a strong connection to magic and stuff. My mom lets me do wicca, a magick based religion at home. I never really took to it. Something was always missing." I said taking a sip of my iced tea.

He nodded considering what I said for a moment. The waiter put our food down, I had ordered a small plate of chicken alfrado, Jacob had ordered two bowls of spagehtti with meat sauce. I took a large bite of my food and watched Jacob eat his.

I laughed because he had a bit of sauce on the side of his cheak. I took my thumb and rubbed it across his cheak and then sucked the sauce off my finger. He smiled and what looked like blushed. I blushed too.

I finished first and unwrapped the book. it looked like it had been hand bounded and I opened it and a gust of wind blew through town as I did. Something about this book was going to change my life that much I could tell.

I read the cover page, "Shaman magicks and practices" was what it said.

I started reading the introduction, it was amazing. It talked about the animals and how they were part of everything as were humans. The earth was part of the animals and the humans. it sent chills down my spine. In a good way.

The first chapter was intitled, _"Water Magicks"_.

I read the begining stuff and then came a spell in an odd languge.

"it's Quilute." Jacob said looking at the words.

Then I started to speak them, it was flawless i hit everyword right. " Quan mena aqua, salamo aqua bay ya, aqua momes" I said in a flawless accent.

I waved my hand over my tea and it froze instanly. I looked at Jake and he looked at me, I loked down at the bracelet that was on the hand i had waved.

"how did you know how to speak it?" Jacob asked.

I shook my head, "I have no idea, i read the words in my mind and before i even knew it i was speaking them." I said in a low voice.

Jacob was just as worried as i was. I gave the waiter my credit card and signed the tiket then we started back toward the shop. There was a for sale sign in the window and the room was empty and dusty not like it had been and hour or so earlier.

Jacoba dn I exchanged looks and I looked down at my bracelt it was still there and the book was still there.

We didn't say another word until we got to the car.

"Mac i think we need to talk about something." Jacob said as we drove home.

I looked up from the book, i was learning so much from it. I couldn't wait to try some more spells, I was already half way through the second chapter, "_ earth, wind, and fire magicks"_

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" I said placing a red ribbon in my place.

Jacob took a deep breath, "I'm not like most guys Mac, I'm different." Jacob said in a strained breath.

I looked at him waiting for him to continue.

"I was bron different, see when i'm angry, I turn into something different something unhuman." Jacob said looking to me a worried look in his eyes.

"I can shapeshift into a wolf, there are many of us in my tribe. More of us than there has ever been before. It's because there are so many vampires lurking around forks now that we have to grow in numbers so we can protect the tribe. I shouldn't be telling you this but form what you did today, I think the women was right you have the gift of the Shamen." Jacob said looking at me hoping i wasn't thinking he was crazy.

I thought for a moment, it couldn't be true. Jacob wasn't lieing i could see it in his eyes.

"Jaocb, I don't care what you are. Why am I drawn to you? Why is it everytime I am near you i want to touch you to kiss you." I said looking at him as he drove, he took the turn off for La push.

"I have imprinted on you. It means that we were made for each other, that we were destened to be together. When our eyes first locked yesterday that's when it happend." Jacob said taking my hand.

It fit mine perfectly, like his was molded to fit mine for this very reason.

"Okay, I understand I guess. I'm just a little confused, i'm not Quilute, how can i do this magic if im not part of the tribe." I asked still holding his hand.

"That's what I want to find out we need to go see the others and the elders." Jake said looking to me with a reasuring smile.

I satrted to read again, the spells were stuck in my memory as soon as i read them. The third chapter was called, "_Summing Totems"_ totems were living things almost that gave power it could be healing power, the power to make you stronger or anyone stronger, there was a totem for everything. They sounded easy to summing, i couldn't wait to try to summing one.

I closed the book as we pulled in the next chapter was called, "_Shapeshifting and talking with the spirtes"_

The small house looked like it was full of people. I touched my bracelet with, it gave me a reasurence that evrything would be okay. Jacob ushered me inside and the room hushed.

"Jacob, is this him. What have you told him?" I tall boy asked walking up to Jake, he had something shimmering around the edeg of his body it was his aura it spoke to me it said he was the boss the strongest in the pack.

"Sam, i've told him everything but wait till you see what he can do." Jacob said telling everyone to come out side and watch.

I went toward the center of the small yard, " Go ahead mac show'em what you learned."

I took a deep breath and and closed my mind to the outside world.

"Totem of the snow white night!" I said as i pointed the hand with the bracelet on it toward the ground then toward the sky. A white thing arose from the ground there was a slight hm from it then snow started to fall from the sky. It was only August 27.

Evryone ohhh and awwed.

A man in a wheel chair was pushed to me.

"You are a Shaman, and a young strong powerful one at that. Your spirte is of the tribe, the bracelet you wear was the same as the spirte warriors first wore. It holds their magick in it." The old man said to me. "You have the soul of a spirt warrior as well." the old man said before saying something to the boy who was called Sam.

Then a group of boys came from the crowd. Each of them came and kneeled before me including Jake.

"The shaman has returned." The old man said and the boys stood and cheered.

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter


	3. Chapter 3

blue roses Chapter 3

Have you ever got the feeling you have no clue to what is going on around you? Well that was how i was feeling at this moment. Everyone was cheering and clapping their hands, the old man had already been pushed away.

"Wow Mac can you believe it? Your _the_ Shaman!" Jacob said coming up and giving me a huge hug.

I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms as tight as i could around Jacob's frame. "What does it really mean? 'The Shaman'?" I asked as we broke apart.

Jacob's face seemed to grow shallow for a moment then it turned to a girl who was walking to us.

"It means that your a powerful asset to to tribe. You have learned the powers of the elements, how to summon powerful objects called totems and soon if you keep on your path you will learn to shift from your physical body into the sprite form of our people. After that you'll be able to shift in to the forms of animals much like the pack.

Your coming was for told many ages ago by the last Shaman. It was fore told that you would be of blood that was not from our people and that you would be tied to a member of the pack, your gifts would help that pack when the drinkers of human blood attack." The girl said standing in front of Jacob and I.

I looked down at the bracelet, " I don't like to fight, I don't want to hurt anything or anyone! I just wanted to stay here and take care of Charlie, I don't want to be some fore told Shaman of great power. I didn't want to be tied to some kind of werewolf!" I yelled at the girl and at Jacob.

Jacob looked truly hurt and the girl was somewhat afraid. I started to walk away, Jacob grabbed my arm. I turned toward him and the wind started to viciously blow and dark black clouds rushed over head. Lighting struck the ground a few feet from Jacob, he jumped back and looked at me like I was a monster.

"Don't come near me, I'm going to walk home by the time I get their your stuff better be gone and you better had not be there." I said my hands bursting into flames. The ground around me was turning from a dusty green into a blooming green with flowers.

A tear ran down jacob's face and the Pack seemed to get behind him. I turned and started the walk home. A red car passed me and I saw Jacob in the back looking at me. I was crying the entire walk home when I got there, every trace that Jacob was there was gone. I walked up to my room and found a note on my bed.

_Mac,_

_I'm sorry we freaked you out. This is all my fault, call me please so we can talk. Charlie has my number, I already called and told him that I was going to stay with Sam so he won't know that your mad at me._

_Love always,_

_Jacob_

I started to cry again, what had I done? I had made the man of my dreams think i hated him! Something told me to start reading again, I sat dwn on my bed and began reading the shapeshifting chapter. It was amazing, it told me to go outside and into a forest fo woodland area if i could find one and try calling to an animal who i wanted to be able to shift into.

I went into the backyard, and started walking to the forest. I walked till i was deep in the forest, and i sat down on a tall rock. I read the spell and chose to try and call out to a Puma or cougar.

"Animal of the woodlands here me and listen to my words I call to you oh Puma mighty animal protector of the forest. Bless me so i can join you in protecting those of whom i love!" I spoke the spell and I closed my eyes when i opened them in front of me was a puma.

It let out a low roar and then I felt my body start to tingle. I stood up on the rock and jumped off, in mid air i felt my skin and body ripple and when i landed i was a puma! The other started to run and it said to follow it.

We ran through the trees I could see everything clearer now, everything had a scent which my mind told me as i smelt them. Suddenly I knew i was no longer the predator but the prey as I stopped and turned a large boy with curly brown hair stood before me. His eyes black as coal. He got into a crouch, I started to think turning into a human and As I did his eyes widened.

I stood there completely naked, all except my bracelet that is and the last thing i saw before i fainted was him rushing over to me and taking off his large shirt.

"You'll be okay, I make sure your okay." his amazingly musical voice said.


End file.
